Lessons I Learnt In 2019

First and foremost, happy new year.

2019 came and went, it had its fair share of highs and lows. If I was to sum 2019 up in one word, I would say it was haphazard. For a person like me who always works with a plan and always likes to be in control, this is not something I am particularly proud to write home.

I learnt earlier on in the year that I actually have no control over anything and let’s just say, I winged my way through the year. It was filled with curveballs but also great lessons to guide me better through adulting.

Let’s dive right into it.

You know nothing, Jon Snow

I have never related more to words said on Television like these ones. Nothing really prepares you for the hurricane that adulting really is until you are tossed into the arena head first, no helmet! I am disappointed at both the education system and the average parenting, at best, for their lack of help. I feel like life literally begun after campus.

In the one year I have been out, I have been fired after a week, turned down jobs because of trauma, kissed ass, been broke, cried, laughed and everything in between. I will write a book. But in all these motions, what remained constant is that I truly know nothing. I now understand why Walter White in Breaking Bad chose to cook meth over his teaching career.

Money isn’t everything, but it’s right up there with oxygen

It’s January and I am feeling the pinch of my poor money management choices like never before. I like to think I am good at saving and handling my finances but 2019 taught me otherwise. For the first time in my life, I had to fend everything for myself and no one prepared me for the culture shock! Saying I snowballed my way through 2019 is an understatement. My bank probably laughed at me.

Despite not hitting most of my financial goals for 2019, I am proud that I used money to give me some of my most cherished memories for the year. Yes, I’m talking about the Burna Boy concert and Kilifi Festival, daah!

We haven’t eaten rent money yet so that’s a good sign. I intend to work smarter this year. Listen here missy, you have food at home! LOL!

Keep it Moving

Let me tell you something about getting fired, its never cute. Unfortunately for me, it was among the first curveballs thrown my way to welcome me into 2019. Worst of all, it happened after a week of signing the contract and a killer presentation. This tied together with a number of rejection letters and unanswered job applications bruised my ‘fresh graduate’ ego quite a bit.

What I learnt is, what is meant for you will never pass you. The universe is always working in your favour and what looks like a bad thing could actually be a blessing in disguise. You are allowed to cry but get back up and keep it moving. I landed a job soon after that I feel is really aligned to my goals. Would I ever see myself doing what I do two years ago? Vaguely. But I believe this is where I need to be now to get to the next place, and I’m grateful. Things always work out. Mungu halali 🙂

Love is complicated

I know I know, I’m shouting (In Ronoh’s voice), but love is truly complicated. Every so often I find myself questioning what love is and how far it can stretch. I experience new forms of love every day, from God, my lover, my family, friends as well as complete strangers. I have steadily fallen in love with subtle forms of love, which if not carefully observed, could go unnoticed. It’s the tout in an unknown town making sure I get to a destination safely. While many like to use the word kindness, I like to think its rooted in love.

Love is, however, as intricate as Pope’s finest robes. I found myself questioning what I think love should look like and why more aggressively in 2019. Monogamy? Polygamy? I’ve broken my trust in myself a few times seeking answers but the quest to learn myself continues. Despite its complexities, I get to celebrate life with a magical soul right now. Though I know not what the future holds, I am happy now. He has managed to show me so many different sides of love I didn’t know existed. He has also held me through countless meltdowns, but that’s a story for another day.

Choose friends that feel good to your soul

When 2019 started, I had some friends that I cherished with all my heart. I think just like relationships, friendships take a whole lot of work. Needless to say, by the end of the decade, things didn’t work out. It’s not particularly about cutting people off as much as it is keeping positive energies around you. 2019 taught me to ride with those that ride with you. Life is more fulfilling when you are surrounded by love, so seek it.

It’s not easy to make new friends when you’re an adult, but it’s necessary. Get like-minded people who you can grow with as well. Sio kila siku 1824. The people you surround yourself with ultimately determine your fate.

Going into 2020, I hope to be more intentional with my steps letting God guide me.

2020 haitaki makasiriko- Edgar Obare

3 Replies to “Lessons I Learnt In 2019”

  1. I loved every bit of it, it resonates with everything I’ve gone through, literally echoes my sentiments…you are a beautiful and talented writer…inside and out

    Sheila says:
  2. I found this one being heartfelt.
    It is not easy to make new friends when you are an adult. This just resonates with me. Especially at this point in life.

  3. This is very heartfelt. Keep on.
    I wasn’t prepared for adulting.
    It is not easy to make new friends when you are an adult. Now this just sums up my life presently.

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