In retrospect, when I first decided to start a blog a couple of years back, my aim was to bring to light the dire issues in society that aren’t considered dinner table conversations. The topics society likes to dismiss existence. My aim was, and still is, to start and continue said topics. Topics that would make you cringe, stirring the kind of emotions needed for a revolution, a complete overhaul of current oppressive social norms deemed acceptable in society. In no way did I intend to make it about me, ever! Hard hitting questions are more my style. However, between juggling life and handling it, I realize an audience is more connected when they know a writer personally, to some extent (shhh! Don’t tell these journalists I spilt their Holy Grail secret). So here’s my first attempt at letting you in, with journals from the past 12 months of my life.
November: Setting boundaries and standards on how I want to be treated in every aspect of my life, at home, at work, at school and by hopeful significant others. Reclaiming all my lost glory in all its splendor. Treating people how I want to be treated, in spite of their own lack thereof. We have stopped for a moment in our cosmic journey to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It’s a little parenthesis in eternity. Making smarter decisions financially as well.
December: Embracing the mirror challenge. This is one of the self-care strategies that keep me sane in this highly superficial society we live. So basically it involves looking at myself in the mirror every morning and telling myself I’m a smart beautiful sophisticated bad ass on her way to conquering the world. I would say this definitely sets the standard and pace for the day. Sometimes I also do it before bed just to kick people’s butts in my dreams. Didn’t they tell you I was a savage? Lol. I’m also giving yoga another try. This was inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Eat, Pray, Love”. Like she so accurately puts it, yoga is the effort to experience one’s own divinity personally and then to hold on to that experience forever. Be divine honey!
January: Taking less selfies. Well to be honest this is not completely honest. My poor infinix that has served me for quite the decade is almost giving in to time, being the forefather and whatnot. My camera cracked as well. So I don’t take as many selfies anymore… with my phone. Ha! Got ya! I’m always getting my friends’ phones, so basically my Bluetooth roll is popping lol. (Underlying camera-parasite vibes, keep your phones away haha)
- Eating some serious Ugali. Because sometimes life gives you lemons and you make Ugali. Sim Simaaa… hehe
- Drinking Kericho Gold’s green tea and jasmine. Isn’t their packaging just the cutest? And their variety of options, beau-TEA-ful (get it?) Life is like a cup of tea, it’s all in how you make it.
February: Loving the dimple on my right thigh, obsessively. I’ve had it throughout my life and it never seizes to amaze me with its depth and secrecy. Guess the cat’s out of the bag now.
- Wishing I had a puppy to give all my love and do yoga with.
March: Running over negative vibes with my imaginary Mercedes G-wagon with the squad. I seriously have one of the best support systems in a group of friends of mine. We’re always there for each other putting each other in check when one is tripping. This is important to me, especially, because for a long time I had friends who did nothing for me but add to the head count in the bulk of my facebook friends. As Erykah Badu insightfully put it, evolving involves eliminating. This year has been one full of rediscovery, rearranging of philosophies and rewiring my taste palette. So cheers to many more years girls 😉
April: Celebrating my 22nd birthday. It was one of those memorable birthdays for the books. I mean guys from work surprised me with the best cake!!!! I was super excited!! I also went for dinner later. Clearly the way to my heart is through food. I’m growing old however, and that scares the nasties out of me.
- Priding in not politicizing the fact that I wear my hair natural like it grows from the scalp. Women today are using this as a way of putting other women down for their choices and I’m wholly against it. Whether you decide to rock wigs or that nappy fro, it doesn’t justify superiority. You aren’t any more woke for that nappy hair darling, woke is an inside job. I’ve never had to unscrew another woman’s light bulb in order to shine.
May: Trying to make my 5 year old self proud. That little girl was a rock star and everyone knew it. I don’t know when life beat her down so hard she became this version of herself she can’t even truly recognize. She’s probably so disappointed I let fear control my life for such a long time. I ought to stop wearing my wishbone where my backbone should be. She’s making her comeback soon, paired with experience, unstoppable!
June: Wearing less and going out more, glasses of champagne out on the dance floor. Can you tell I’m Drake’s numero uno fan?! Haha! On the real though, anyone who knows me knows comfort is my number one priority when picking out what to wear. Take for example the oversized pink pair of pyjamas I’m in, with cute Dalmatians and bones drawn on them. I’m also obsessing over my jeans lately, popping in all the right places, if you know what I mean.
July: Challenging societal norms. The issue concerning nudity for one needs a lot of reconstruction. Growing up in an African household, there were serious restrictions about showing skin and the repercussions dreadful because the fear of rape was strongly in grained and hammered in my mind. But tell me this, if it’s her skin that drives a man to rape a woman on any given day, how does an 18 month old child just die from rape? Whom were her non-existent breasts driving to the brink of insanity that they simply had to have his way with her? For how long will we continue to drive these patriarchal ideologies? Raising our little girls in fear of reaching their full potentials? I applaud women like Adelle Onyango who has been very vocal in calling out rape culture, calling a spade a spade.
August: Hoping to be more consistent in writing and posting blogs. I have so many ideas in mind and I genuinely love writing. I also hope to get more traveling opportunities, life was never meant to be lived in one place, and you’re not a tree. Hoping for more spontaneity in my life.
September: Appreciating the value of good education and a good educational system. Especially because I’m currently pursuing a 4 year degree for what seems to be 7 years, if I am lucky. The current deplorable state of Kenyan institutions of higher learning, especially public schools is unbelievable, to say the least. Nonetheless, access to education is something we should never take for granted.
October: Passionately chasing my dreams and ambitions one step at a time because I can’t see the whole staircase. I am embracing the uncertainty of it all because I believe some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won’t have a title until much later. Time is everything we have and we don’t. Also, when you believe in something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it. It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting, innit?
November: Dancing with God, waiting for the right man to cut in. A woman who seeks her happiness from God can never be broken. If we’re not hungry for Christ, we’re probably too full of ourselves.
- Reading Gabrielle Union’s “We’re going to need more wine”. She’s my inspiration for writing this blog honestly, her wit and honesty about life is out of this world. I’ve been trying to get a book in at least every week and finishing Lola Shoneyin’s “The Secret lives of baba Segi’s wives” last week gave me so much satisfaction. I would recommend it to everyone. Oh and “And the mountains echoed” by Khaled Hosseini was a complete gem. Someone stop me before I spill my geek all over these pages.
- Listening to a lot of Sza!!!!! If you don’t already know her, YouTube my friend! You can thank me later. Also obsessing over Daniel Caesar’s music, mannnn!!! Music for the soul.
P.S. I got the idea to do this blog from Sharon’s blog, feel free to check it out.
‘’What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.” _Nelson Mandela